Always about people finding Freedom

A broken life reassembled

Casandra Wilson shares how God is restoring the pieces of her broken life as she surrenders to him

Casandra Wilson is directly honest when reflecting on the turning point in her turbulent life. “If I hadn’t found acceptance and love at the front door of the Salvos, I wouldn’t be here today,” she admits.
“My life was like a boxed jigsaw puzzle – when you take off the lid, the pieces are a jumbled mess.
“I thought I was insane when I came here (to The Salvation Army), but I know now that God was searching me out and bringing me here.”
Casandra, who is The Salvation Army Doorways Program Coordinator and a senior soldier at the Ballina Corps in Northern NSW, had been struggling with broken relationships, drug and alcohol abuse and self-loathing for more than 20 years. She had been homeless with her children four times, suffered violent and emotionally abusive relationships and was self-harming, angry and desperate.
“I came to Ballina (in January 2012) because it was a safe place for me,” Casandra explains. “My Grandma lived in [nearby] Wollongbar and we used to go there for holidays. I had come to Ballina when I was homeless and after relationship breakdowns. And it’s been here that I’ve found Jesus, and healing.”

Endless cycle
Tragically, Casandra suffered abuse from an early age. She was sexually assaulted from the age of two until she was 14. At 16, she started drinking to cope with the pain. Drug-taking soon followed.
“At 18, I moved to Canberra and was living in darkness until I was around 23,” she says quietly. “I had my kids and they were the only thing that brought me life.”
Casandra was determined to give up drugs and alcohol for her children. “I got clean when they were young but as they got older, I began again. It was an endless cycle going nowhere,” she says.
“I was depressed and anxious and thought I was insane. I had lived a life of brokenness and somehow I just knew I had to get out.”


Turning point
On 9 February 2012, just after moving to Ballina, Casandra went  to the local Salvation Army corps for food assistance and beds for her children.
“From the second I came through this door I saw love,” she says. “Love came to me through each person I met, though the coffee I drank, the food vouchers I was given; it was everywhere.
The corps officers at Ballina at the time, Captains Gai and Peter Cathcart, invited Casandra to church and she hasn’t looked back.
“On 11 March I went to the Mercy Seat, fully surrendered to Jesus and instantly I could feel the difference,” she shares. “There is still hurting and pain, but the load just fell off me. Food even tasted different!”
Captain Grant Kingston-Kerr, Corps-Based Recovery Services Officer in the Northern NSW Division, referred Casandra to Heartfelt House in Wollongbar – a service that provides programs to adult survivors of sexual abuse.
These programs gave Casandra a new perspective on the abuse she had suffered and its effects on her life.
“I realised that the guilt, the depression and everything I was going through came from being a survivor of abuse,” she says. “I knew I wasn’t crazy and life started to look up.
“These are the moments that have changed my life and now I am daily surrendering to God, spending time with him, and am passionate about Jesus and all he has done.”
Captains Cathcart enrolled Casandra as a senior soldier on 11 November 2012. “This was all about freedom, transformation and – the big one – a change of heart,” she explains.
“The rock around my heart was still there, but God has healed that and moulded me into a better person so now I can help others.
“I always knew there was a God, and when I finally let him in, he transformed my life. It’s about healing, restoration and peace, as the Bible says in Isaiah 57:18-19.”

New life
In her role as the Doorways Program Coordinator, Casandra assesses clients who come to The Salvation Army for assistance and works with them to help rebuild their lives. “Just as it was done for me,” she says simply.
Pub ministry is also a passion for Casandra.
“This is where I used to drink and be wild and now I am ministering to people on a Friday night,” she says with obvious joy.
Casandra also feels called to become a Salvation Army officer and is hoping to one day attend Booth College.
“The corps officers in Ballina (Lieutenants Wes and Debbie Bust) have been my rocks and mentors helping me with this,” she says. “It’s all a journey and, right now, I want to work on my family and get that right and see where God leads me.”