Family and Domestic Violence

Background

According to the World Health Organisation family violence is considered “a global health problem of epidemic proportions”, affecting 30% of women worldwide. Family and domestic violence is also a serious social issue in Australian society. It is not a new issue but is receiving increasing focus by government, media and the community. In the 2015 Not Now, Not Ever report into Domestic and Family Violence in Queensland the authors stated that “Domestic and family violence in all its forms is a violation of human rights.”

In Australia family violence is the biggest contributor to ill health and premature death in women aged 15-44 years.¹  Incidents of family violence leading to death have been reported frequently in the media. On average one Australian woman is killed each week by their current or former partner.² Family violence is also the main cause of women and children becoming homeless in Australia.

The 2012 Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) Personal Safety Survey found that since the age of 15:

• I in 3 women had experience physical violence
• 1 in 4 women had experienced emotional abuse from a current  or former partner
• 1 in 5 women had experienced sexual violence
• 1 in 6 women had experienced physical or emotional abuse from a current or former partner
• Women were most likely to experience physical or sexual violence in their home, at the hands of a current or former partner ³

It is widely accepted that family and domestic violence occurs not only between married couples or within intimate personal relationships. It is also present in the context of extended family relationships and informal care; parent/child abuse – usually violent teenagers; LGBTIQA relationships; older people – usually by their children or carers; people with a disability; and amongst indigenous and various ethnic and culturally diverse groups. Further data from the ABS indicates that Indigenous women were five times more likely to have experienced physical violence in the previous 12 months than other Australian women and girls. It was also noted that while “reported prevalence for women from a CALD background is the same as other women, incidences could be a lot higher. Cultural, religious and language factors as well as a fear of deportation, are likely leading to non-disclosure.” ⁴

In recent years the Australian government has conducted major reviews of legislation, policies and procedures relating to family and domestic violence. This has included those conducted by the Australian Law Reform Commission (ALRC) commencing in 2010. This resulted in the Council of Australian governments endorsing the National Plan to Reduce Violence against Women and their Children 2010-2022. There is no single definition of family and domestic violence. The ALRC review in 2010/11 highlighted this and recommended changes to the legal definitions in a range of legislation. Researchers also highlight the challenge of an inconsistent definition. In the National Plan for the Prevention of Violence against Women – stage 1 2010-2013- the ALRC recommended that the definition should incorporate agreed core elements. These include conduct that is violent, threatening, coercive or controlling or intended to cause the family member to be fearful. It also recommended that the definition of family member be broadened and clearly stated within the legislation.

The impacts of family and domestic violence affect all of society either directly or indirectly. The Australian Bureau of Statistics (2013) notes that the impacts are social, psychological, health and financial for those directly affected but also notes the flow-on effects to communities and wider society. Agencies that provide support services to those affected by family and domestic violence, including The Salvation Army, report increasing demands for their services to the extent that demand is outstripping the availability of services.

Understanding Family and Domestic Violence

The Salvation Army believes that all people are created in the image of God and therefore have a unique and intrinsic value. Human life is sacred and all people should be treated with dignity and respect.  The Bible teaches that all people are equal in value to God. Every instance of violence in a relationship is contrary to this teaching and is unacceptable. The Salvation Army considers that family and domestic violence is unacceptable and an abuse of power, with the more powerful person abusing the vulnerable person. Behaviour that is violent, threatening, controlling or coercive usually is intended to cause the vulnerable person to feel intimidated, fearful and submissive. Family violence is a serious problem within the community and the Church, and occurs in every socio-economic and cultural context.

Many people, including those within the Christian Church, experience family and domestic violence. The majority of people experiencing violence within relationships are women, and the majority of violence is perpetrated by men. The Salvation Army has consistently strongly opposed attitudes and behaviours that denigrate people because of their gender and encourages Salvationists to uphold the value and worth of both women and men in word, thought and deed.

Those who are experiencing family or domestic violence should be provided with support and care to ensure their safety and wellbeing.

It is of the utmost importance that perpetrators receive help to deal with those related matters expressed through violent behaviour, and receive support in working towards the development of new positive behaviours.

Behaviours and actions that constitute Violence within the Family

As violence within the family is the abuse of power, any member of the family may misuse their power to benefit themselves at the expense of others. As Salvationists, our role model should be Jesus who, throughout His earthly life, championed the cause of those who were vulnerable and oppressed, and who Himself characterised servant-hood and care and support for others.

Family and domestic violence may take many forms. The following provides information on a range of different behaviours which can constitute family or domestic violence.

• Physical assault, or threatened physical assault is a criminal offence. This includes pushing, kicking, slapping, hitting, burning, denying sleep or sustenance, using a weapon to cause injury. It may also involve damaging property and possessions and/or threats to do so.
  
  
• Sexual violence includes any form of sexual humiliation as well as incest and other coercive sexual behaviour, including rape in marriage, pressure to watch or participate in pornography or unwanted sexual acts.
  
  
• Verbal abuse includes the intent to use speech to degrade, humiliate, threaten, intimidate, demean or "put down" another.
  
  
• Psychological and emotional abuse involves behaviour which destroys one's sense of security, belief in one's own abilities and refusal to allow one to control his/her own life. It can include being told that s/he has mental problems. It might also include damaging property or prized possessions, pet abuse or threats to harm pets. 
  
  
• Financial or economic abuse or coercion includes unrealistic expectations of money management from a dependent, denying control of, or input into control of, financial matters, providing an inadequate allowance, gambling with joint money, stealing from others in the home. In others it may involve forcing a woman to falsely claim Social Security payments.
  
  
• Social abuse includes humiliating someone in public, isolating them from contact with others, preventing them going out and withholding vital information.
  
  
• Child abuse in any form is illegal and abhorrent. Children are also very vulnerable in situations of family violence, often bearing witness to the violence being perpetrated, and fearful for their own safety. Children living in an environment of family and domestic violence can suffer serious long term physical, psychological and emotional effects which impact on their ability to learn, engage with others and form healthy relationships.
  
  
• Abuse of the elderly and those with a disability (within the home or residence by family members or carers) involves the exploitation of vulnerable people who are not in a position to defend themselves. This can include physical, financial and sexual abuse. It can be the result of intentional or unintentional neglect. Women with an intellectual disability are particularly vulnerable to sexual abuse in this context.
  
  
• Exploitation includes benefiting from the use of money and assets of another family member without their consent. It may also include sexual exploitation. This term is often used when referring to sexual abuse of children during adolescence. It may also include forcing a woman to engage in prostitution to benefit the abuser financially.
  
  
• Harassment or intimidation involves bullying and threatening behaviour including looks, words and gestures. Stalking is closely linked to harassment. It includes being followed, watched or monitored directly or indirectly through friends.  This behaviour can include harassment and stalking both in person and via social media including email, texting, GPS locators, mobile spyware.
  
  
• Spiritual and cultural abuse includes criticising and preventing someone from engaging in spiritual and cultural practices or holding such beliefs. This might also include the use of religion and spirituality to oppress another - for example, a man using scriptural authority to assert his "headship" and authority over his wife, demanding that she submit to him. He might use "God told me" as a basis for behaviour that puts the victim in a place of opposing God, not an abusive individual. Scripture denouncing divorce might also be used as a reason that an abused spouse should remain in the relationship.
  
  
• Any other form of control and abuse of power refers to anything not articulated above which constitutes family and domestic violence.
  
  
• We acknowledge that language barriers, social isolation, often a distrust of police and government authorities and specific cultural norms make it difficult to assess the level of violence experienced by women and children from diverse cultural and linguistic communities. These may include people seeking asylum and those from ethnic minority groups within Australia. As noted earlier the level of violence reported by these groups does not differ from mainstream reporting but the ABS indicates that for the reasons above and others, under-reporting of violence is more likely to be the case.

It should be noted that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women experience violence at significantly increased rates, compared to non-Indigenous women. Violence within Aboriginal and Torres Strait communities cannot be understood without first giving due consideration to the violence embedded in the history of colonialism in Australia.  For Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples the violence of colonialism has led to intergenerational dispossession, on-going social and economic exclusion, forced removal of children, and the destruction of cultural practices that regulated interpersonal violence.

The cycle of violence

In family violence situations one common question asked by those outside the family is, “Why not leave”. This is very complex with many factors at play. For example the behaviour of the perpetrator may make it extremely difficult for the person experiencing violence to leave their situation. In some circumstances, hope that things will sort themselves out can play a part in the decision to stay, as will concerns about the impact on the children.  The diagram below may help to understand why many people continue to live in abusive relationships. 

 

Most perpetrators experience domestic violence as part of a cycle with different stages:

Build-up Phase - The perpetrator's behaviour escalates from controlling and abusive to increasingly threatening and violent as tension increases. The woman may feel like she is walking on eggshells.

Explosion - The most dangerous part of the cycle. It can involve serious threats, physical and verbal assault, damaging property. Some men cite - loss of control - as an excuse for violence.

Remorse/Blame/Denial Phase - After the violence the perpetrator often feels guilt, shame or remorse. Some will deny and play down their actions, or blame their partner or other factors.

Pursuit Phase - The perpetrator may use charm or seduction, buy gifts or make more threats to get his partner back with promises to change.

Honeymoon Phase - There may be a period of calm when things appear as if they have changed, and there is hope for better times ahead. But as pressure builds within the perpetrator for various reasons - thought patterns, work or family pressures - the cycle recommences.⁵

There are a number of websites which can provide more detailed information or alternative ways of understanding family and domestic violence. Additional information on intimate partner violence can be found at the following links:

http://www.ncdsv.org/images/powercontrolwheelnoshading.pdf

http://www.ncdsv.org/images/equalitywheelnoshading.pdf

Myths about Family and Domestic Violence

There are many myths about family and domestic violence which facts and data do not support.

These include concepts such as the victim provoked the perpetrator; it is only an issue for women; violence is only physical assault; women should just remove themselves from the relationship. Other myths include alcohol/drugs cause family violence; that it only happens in lower socio-economic groups or that it only happens when a relationship ends.

It is important to become informed about these myths. Further information can be obtained at this link for the White Ribbon Organisation.

http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/uploads/media/updated_factsheets_Nov_13/Factsheet_10_Ten_Common_Myths_and_Misconceptions.pdf

Biblical and Theological Background

Throughout the history of the church, scripture has been used to both defend acts of violence as well as to declare violence as an unacceptable behaviour. There are a number of examples of Family and Domestic Violence within Scripture.   From the beginning of Genesis there is escalating violence within the context of family and community, with specific stories throughout the Scriptures of economic, social, spiritual and physical abuse, including the rape of Tamar and the collusion of family silence in 2 Samuel 13, and King David’s treatment of Michal.  There are ancient principles for the protection of a wife who is treated unfairly by her husband, and for the care of the vulnerable members of society. We are also able to develop key principles from that which is written in the Bible about relationships, and how we treat our neighbours, our enemies, our family, and God.  Studying these passages will help us to develop a response to family and domestic violence in light of God’s revelation.

Unfortunately it is a sad fact that throughout the history of the Church this same Bible has been used to justify abuse and oppression. God hates evil and opposes those who misuse power and practice violence.  Psalm 11:5 says “The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence his soul hates”.  In Mark 10:42-45 Jesus sets the standard for Christian use of power.  He condemns rulers who lord it over others while commanding those who want to become great to become a servant, and those who want to be first to become a slave of all.  Jesus demonstrated this in his own life, as he came not to be served, but to serve.  In 1 Peter 5:3 we find that Christian leaders are to exercise their leadership not by lording it over others, but by being positive examples, or role models.  The emphasis for Christian leadership and authority is on service and influence through example, not through asserting authority by using violence, force or implied threats.

There are numerous lists in the New Testament where violence is described as a sin to be avoided, and in 1 Timothy 3:3 elders must be gentle, not violent. Both Jesus and Paul speak against the mistreatment of children. (Matt 18:6,7, Eph 6:4) Moreover, Paul, in Ephesians 5:21, summarises the key for all relationships with a simple command “Submit to one another”.   Scripture asserts the use of influence through humble example within family relationships, and condemns the use of power or authority to oppress or abuse another person.

Scripture also calls God’s people to be a voice for those who are voiceless, oppressed and vulnerable people.  Care for the widows and orphans, as a representative group of those who are vulnerable, is commanded throughout the Old and New Testaments, for example James 1:27.  It is in light of this that Christians will not only act in ways that are gentle and not violent, but will also provide care, shelter and support for those who are vulnerable, oppressed or victims of violence and advocate for their safety and well-being.

Pastoral Considerations 

When Family and Domestic Violence affects a family within the faith community, the community faces the challenge of supporting both the person experiencing violence and the perpetrator.  Often the church, in disbelief of such alleged behaviour, has supported perpetrators over the family member(s) experiencing violence, who have had to discover new support networks.  At other times, only the person experiencing violence is supported, and the perpetrator is made to leave the church and ostracised, losing their support network, making it difficult for them to learn and change, and potentially disrupting any opportunity of growth and future healthy reconciliation.

In most cases it will not be possible for both to remain within the one faith community, especially where legal orders prevent the perpetrator from having contact with the victim.  Sometimes the person experiencing violence may have experienced such psychological abuse that they will still defer to their partner, and decide to leave quietly so as to avoid further antagonising their abuser.

As a general rule, however, a Church community should embrace the family member experiencing violence, and maintain support, while helping the alleged perpetrator to own their behaviour and seek professional help, find a new faith community, and help them to develop a new support network within that community. Due to the nature of the cycle of abuse, and the need to ensure a healthy continuous support network for those experiencing abuse, it is important that this is done in a way that will allow the perpetrator to safely return to the church community if circumstances change, especially if reconciliation follows.

The role of the church may include helping family members experiencing violence to find new accommodation, referral or provision of specific counselling or support, psychological support should matters proceed to court, special consideration for the care of children and other family support.  This should be done with an attitude of empowerment.  Also, the church may consider referral for, or provision of, anger management counselling, helping perpetrators find new accommodation, assisting perpetrators find a support network that supports behavioural change.

It may be helpful for Corps periodically to have a sermon series and/or Bible study focus on establishing and maintaining healthy relationships within the family.

Compassion, care and confidentiality should be the hallmarks of all dealings with violence within the family.

Practical Responses

In case of emergency, or if it appears that the person is in immediate danger call 000. It is important that people maintain their personal safety at all times.

The Salvation Army believes that complaints of family violence should be fully investigated and that none should ever be dismissed lightly. The person seeking help should be encouraged to report their situation to the police. All State/Territory police forces/services have specialised family and domestic violence units who can advise on options available under the law, as well as investigating the allegations.  However this is often a difficult step for the person seeking help to take and referral to a specialised service may be more appropriate in the first instance. We recommend that Salvationists make themselves aware of such services and the procedures for referral.  

Become familiar with the services and resources provided by The Salvation Army for people affected by family and domestic violence. This link contains useful information:  https://salvos.org.au/need-help/domestic-violence/

If there is no such service in your local community check to see if there is a Domestic Violence Resource Centre or accommodation service, for example women’s refuge available locally.

White Ribbon has a very useful website at: http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/finding-help

1800 RESPECT is a national phone service run by the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service. An online counselling service is also available through their website at: http://www.1800RESPECT.org.au. These services are available 24/7 and can be used by anyone seeking help as a result of domestic and family violence. This includes family and friends of those experiencing violence.

MensLine 1300 78 99 78 is a 24/7 professional telephone, online and information service for men experiencing family or intimate relationship issues including using or experiencing violence or abuse: http://www.mensline.org.au

For children who witness family violence, Kids Helpline: http://www.kidshelpline.com.au may be a useful resource. This support is available both online and by telephone – free call 1800 55 1800.

Disability and Seniors or Aged Advocacy Services are available to support such persons who are victims of violence or intimidation. The National Disability Abuse and Neglect Line 1800 880 052 is a 24 hour service. Other advocacy services are State or Territory specific. Contact information is available online.

People experiencing violence will be encouraged to make their own choice as to future actions but for both the person experiencing violence and the perpetrator ongoing education, support and information kits should be made available.

What can I do?

There are number of websites and resources available to help individuals to better understand Family and Domestic Violence, and to know local and general resources that are available. If you or someone you know is experiencing Family and Domestic Violence, it is important to seek help to access the support and resources needed.

Many services are underfunded, and most rely on local support for the supply of things such as new toys to give to children who have left everything behind, or food and basic hygiene packs for families and individuals.  Your local council will have Information on how you can support local services.

Important to ending Family and Domestic Violence is for us to have healthy conversations locally and globally. www.respect.gov.au has resources on “starting the conversation”, which can be a helpful place to start.  www.whiteribbon.gov.au also has important resources to help address Family and Domestic Violence in Australia.

Participate in and support local Domestic Violence Week events. Maybe some corps could actually create an event as part of that week.

References and Suggestions for further reading:

Australian Bureau of Statistics. (ABS) (2013). Defining the Data Challenge for Family, Domestic and Sexual Violence. Cat. No. 4529.0, ABS. Canberra.

Australian Bureau of Statistics. (ABS) (2012). Personal Safety, Australia. Cat. No. 4906.0, ABS. Canberra.

http://www.ag.gov.au/FamiliesAndMarriage/Families/FamilyViolence

http://www.alrc.gov.au  - The Australian Law Reform Commission

http://www.avertfamilyviolence.com.au  - Avert Family Violence

https://www.dss.gov.au/our-responsibilities/women/programs-services/reducing-violence

This site contains information on the National Plan to Reduce Violence against women and their Children 2010-2022 – endorsed by the Council of Australian Governments (COAG)

http://www.adfvc.unsw.edu.au - Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearing House

http://www.parentsprotect.co.uk   

https://www.communities.qld.gov.au/resources/gateway/campaigns/end-violence/about/special-taskforce/dfv-report-vol-one.pdf

- Not Now, Not Ever. Putting an end to domestic and family violence in Queensland. 2015

http://www.respect.gov.au - Very useful site for information and useful statistics on Family and Domestic Violence

https://salvos.org.au/need-help/domestic-violence/  

http://www.salvationarmy.org.nz/about-us/position-statements/domestic-violence

http://www.vic.gov.au/familyviolenceresponse.html

https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/find-help/

http://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/10665/85239/1/9789241564625_eng.pdf - WHO Global and Regional Estimates of violence against women: Prevalence and health effects of intimate partner violence and non-partner sexual violence. 2013