Words of wisdom

5 May 2022

Three generations – Judy, Samantha and Lee.

Reflecting on the lessons passed down from our mums

CULTURAL TRADITIONS 

Growing up, I have been blessed to be raised by a strong, loving, selfless, and devoted mum, a woman who is strong and proud of her identity as an Aboriginal woman. 

Ihave countless fond memories of my childhood and growing up, but the biggest impact that my mum has had on my life has always been [her] never-ending support, wisdom, knowledge, and [being] a best friend. These combined have shaped me into my identity and who I am today. I couldn’t be more grateful. 

Traditionally and culturally, our grandmothers play a significant role in mothering. Strong and special bonds are formed. I always viewed my grandmother as my second mother, and my great-grandmother played the very same role as my mum. These bonds allow for teaching, story sharing, and wisdom to be passed down to keep our culture and identity strong. It has always provided me with a safe space to engage in ‘women’s business’. It is this cultural tradition that I value most. 

Icannot wait until my daughter is born so that my mum can carry on this tradition – how proud she will be to hold such a significant role. Ilove that my daughter will experience the amazingly strong woman that has given me so much. – Samantha 

STANDING STRONG 

My mother taught me to stand up for myself and silence negative voices. By choosing to pursue healing, growth, and knowledge, she has shown me that a strong woman exercises boundaries and shows compassion. Plus, she never forgets how to have fun. – Jessica 

SUPER POSITIVE 

My mum, Yvone, is in her 80s and very frail. She is bedridden and lives in a nursing home. But she has lots of time on her hands now and always answers the phone when Icall and is up for as long a chat as Ican manage. She is interested in my life and asks lots of questions. She cares about even the slightest health issue Imay have and always thinks I’m fabulous. Despite living 1000 kilometres away and her failing body, my mum is still super positive and my biggest fan. – Bryce 

DIAMONDS

Mum had come to appreciate and accept the myriad of people who came across her path. The lesson was to look beyond the exterior and see the precious child of God they really were.

My mum had learnt that people ultimately long to be loved. Her principle was that she was God’s representative wherever she went to love people. Her desire was that Iunderstood that Icould have many gifts and be clever at lots of things, but if Ididn’t love people, it was all for nothing.

Erring on the side of mercy was a lesson Mum shared with me in the final years of her life. She had learnt the lesson that, as God had extended mercy to her through Jesus’ death and resurrection, so she too must be merciful to others. So much in our world is about condemning and pulling down. Mum’s principle was that if you have a choice – choose to show mercy.

She taught me that if you really look, you will find things to be grateful for in every situation and reminders of a God who is good. – Beth

SAY SOMETHING NICE 

My mum always told me and my brother that if we couldn’t say anything nice about anyone, then not to say anything at all. Over time, it did make me think more about being judgmental and gossiping and that there are usually two sides to every story. As an adult, I now think twice before Isay something about another person, and I’m sure Mum’s words have helped me to realise that most people are doing the best they can and are just trying to get through life. – Heather

SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT

Iwas born with a physical disability, but my mum made sure Iknew that it didn’t need to stop me from doing what Iwanted to in life. This wasn’t without its challenges, but Mum was always encouraging and supportive. She helped me find alternative ways to do things and found specialists and others who could help me medically, socially, and spiritually. As Igot older, she has also helped me accept certain limitations and develop other strengths. – Liam

SELF-CARE

Dad left Mum for another woman when my sisters and Iwere little, and she then had to work long hours to make ends meet financially. We always had everything we needed, and she even made sure we had a relationship with Dad if we wanted one. Idon’t think she ever fully recovered from the pain of the affair and divorce, but she made sure the impact on the kids was as minimal as possible. Iam grateful for that, but sorry it cost her so much. Now, as she is finally starting to do things for herself, Iam even more grateful for, and aware of, the need for self-care, especially in the face of trauma. – Craig